Driving to my job, Pizza Hut executive chef, in Batavia, has it's advantages and disadvantages. For one, I have to get ready for work about an hour before hand, and leave about 40 minutes before my shift. That is a problem because that means instead of a 4-11:30 shift, it turns into a 3-12:30 shift with the drive.
The Upside to the drive is the opportunity to have some one-on-one time with myself. Go ahead and insert dirty joke, but I'm serious; sometimes the best thinking is done on my way to and from work. You could even say it is therapudic in some way because you start to think about everything that is bugging you in life, and even everthing that is going great in life.
To put it bluntly, I have been in a sort-of "funk" lately. I don't know how to explain it, or how to even describe it, but for some reason I feel sad lately. It might be because of the number of peope who have passed away in the last month, and if you know me you know that I don't deal well with death or the prospect of it. Death to me is something I keep far away from my mind and it's been that way since Mom had her stroke and cancer. When mom had cancer, I saw how awkward it was for people to act normal around me. It always seemed like someone thought I would bust into tears at random points in the day, and that was far from the truth. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I have a tough time seeing other people in the shoes I was once in, or even worse in the shoes I am fortunate I wasn't in. I know how they feel, yet I can't talk to them... My mind and heart get in a fearce battle with one another. My heart wants to reach out and send my love to the person, while my head makes me feel uncomfortable and really upset with seeing someone going through such a hard time.
I'm babbling and I just realized it. I'll get out of this funk. I don't even know what funk I'm in to be completely honest with you.
Goodnight readers,
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